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When you see someone doing better than you, what comes to mind? Do you feel happy for that other person and become inspired to work harder to create your own level of success? Or do you feel a heaviness in your chest as you feel pressured to be better?
Success is defined as having the status of having achieved or accomplished an aim or objective. You are the only one who can define what success looks like to you. So when you see someone else with the status you desire, you can have different reactions.
There are some people who can see someone who has what they desire and they’ll ask themselves “how do I get that?”. They’ll notice their ambition to live a certain way and focus on the how not on the who. They use these people as inspirations or examples of how it could be done, not as someone they should be. These people will do anything to get there, under their own definition of success.
Unfortunately, for others seeing successful people will be a huge buzzkill. There is an inferiority complex for majority of the population. When we see someone with a desirable status, it puts us in a state of lack. Our minds can be the most useful tool to help us achieve the ‘success’ we desire but it also can be our worst enemy. How can we achieve success if we think we lack it? Your thoughts need to align with what you believe is possible or it’s never going to happen.
Generally speaking, society will place status on people who have more money, big house, fame etc. For bloggers like us, to see an author generate a writing style which is recognised by a substantial readership can feel daunting. Especially if they’ve been active for a less time than you. It can make you feel like you’re doing something ‘wrong’ and can zap all the motivation and fun you felt initially.
How to move away from the comparison
The problem with feeling useless or worthless when you see a ‘successful’ person, is the feeling is only there because you’re comparing yourself to them. If we take away the comparison, do you still feel that you need to be like them? It is only in relation to someone else that you feel like you lack the status they have.
If you see that blogger with the great writing style and large number of followers as what you need to get to, you’ll never get there. Bloggers create their writing style through constant work. They set themselves goals on what they want to achieve and work diligently towards it. Blogging is like sculpting a statue, each post is a hit on the proverbial chisel against the huge black marble of the blogging community. At first your posts may be slow and not hit the mark but with time you’ll start to see your style take shape.
But like I said in How to Become Motivated Again, you have to set the bar low. I’ve seen via multiple blog posts that bloggers set a publishing rate. This could be daily or every other day, but as practice makes perfect, do it as much as you can. I say to myself I’ll write one paragraph, keeping it simple; and then I flow into the next one, and the next one etc until an article has been written! I am going to transition into writing 3 blog posts a week as it is starting to become a passion of mine.
Another way you can move away from comparing yourself to others is by having a clear cut visualisation on what you want to achieve. Your definition of success shouldn’t be on what someone else is or has, so it is important to create your own goals. In my article called Visualisation: Can it help you achieve what we want? I show how I’ve made a physical vision board so I can refer to my goals whenever I start to lose focus.
Whatever your aiming for in life, it is important not to be overly concerned with how others are doing it. 10,000 people could be doing something but they’re not doing it your way. Draw the knowledge you need from them to give you a good foundation to develop on, but do things your way. The blogging world is overwhelming, there are so many people writing about different subjects; just carry your passion at the forefront of your posts and the need for ‘success’ will fade away as you notice that you’re doing it because you love to do it.
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Sending peace and love through the 4th Dimension!