Estimated read time: 5 minutes.
I started this blog in the midst of coronavirus lockdown with the sole intention of spreading some positive vibes and reminding people of their self worth. It’s nearly the end of the year and second lockdown and most of my articles are about doing shrooms. I know those articles can inspire the fuck out of someone to try and experience a different level of consciousness, but it’s not really helpful.
So I’m back again, attempt number two. In a previous post, I go into detail on how I’ve had time to reflect inwards during lockdown and what caused a transition. During this change, I went from a customer service agent to a carer/volunteer, following the passionate thought “I’m going to help others.” I especially wish to help others who have felt as lost as I’ve felt, who have felt the deep despair in your heart you feel when you think it’s all hopeless but actually there’s nothing holding you back but yourself.
You probably think that it isn’t that special that I’ve transitioned into a different job sector, people do it all the time. But do they really? A lot of people get stuck into something they hate, with no determination to change career. They settle on their aspirations for living an easy routine/life. These people will miss opportunities because the leap of faith is too scary, it has too many unknown variables.
You have to first understand what is holding you back. If you overthink and have to deal with a torrent of negative thoughts which all seem to abuse you, I’ve been there. If you’ve always felt you weren’t good enough, I’ve been there. If you think you’re alone in all of this, that everyone seems to have their shit figured out, you’re not. It’s hard to sum up the absolute bullshit I’ve told myself through over the years but if you’re reading these words, you’re yearning for some guidance too. I’m sure you’ll take something away with you, even if its only the solace in knowing that someone else out there has been hating their self too.
“Everyone has passion, everyone can follow it, it’s all up to you to take that first step.”
I never imagined I would be working as a carer and volunteering with a charity. As a child, I was actually ashamed of the role as it involved personal care. My parents have worked in domiciliary care for most of their adult lives. I vaguely remember being embarrassed about this, lying to everyone who asked what my parents did for a living. Little did I know that personal care is such a small aspect in a very complex role.
Eventually I grew out of my naivety and in the short time I’ve been a carer, it’s great. I’ve looked after different people with a range of disabilities. Dementia, communication and mobility difficulties, down syndrome and autism. When I was first in the presence of these people, I was anxious on how I would interact with them. Everyone feels this way, even if you see someone with a disability in public, there is a shift in your demeanour.
The first time I made one of my clients smile, I was elated. For me, it meant I was over the anxiety and interacting with them on their level. Caring for these people who are incapable of helping themselves brings out a genuine feeling of love. They experience life on a completely different dimension to you or me ‘normal people’. They look like a liability unable to live without support, but who the fuck can? Their lives may seem simple, repetitive and boring but in another way, it’s what makes their life beautiful.
I went from being ashamed and unable to imagine myself as a carer, to someone who has found a deep love for the role and the people I have the pleasure of caring for. This is all started from understanding I wanted to dedicate my life to working with others, helping in any way I can. I went from despising myself to having hope I can live a better life for myself and potentially help a person or two.
There’s no real advice I can give you or anyone for that matter in how to make life better for you. I only wish to extend my personal experience to promote you to think about what is happening to you at the moment. To take that time to look within yourself and ask those questions you’ve been avoiding. If you’ve managed to find your way here, reading this, I genuinely promise you it’s no accident. Ideas/thoughts are strange, they have a mysterious way in bringing like minded people together. I have no followers, why else have you been drawn here?
Thanks for reading, I will be revamping this blog and becoming more active, as I want to share some reoccurring themes for a more successful outlook for oneself and life! Any questions, you want a chat or wish to share your own journey, feel free to get in touch me via the Contact page. I’m here to listen and help y’all.
Sending peace and love through the 4th dimension!
ADR – One Human.