Thinking of Self

Alan Watts touching on our automatic perceptions

The above video is of Alan Watts, giving a lecture regarding awareness of one’s self in relation to the world. I recommend watching the short clip and others by Alan Watts which people have made available on youtube.

The most important thing to take away from the video is every situation in life is neither ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ You, the observer, has the opportunity at any given moment to take life positively (Ying) and negatively (Yang). However, with this comes a problem. Obviously, all humans want their lives to be full of ‘good’ moments and will attempt to force their will onto their situation for it to stay ‘good’ whilst simultaneously trying to hold back the ‘bad’. This is equivalent to holding back a giant wave with just your body. Eventually you won’t be able to hold on and will be sent with the wave, with more force than if you were to just jump on top of it and surf that bitch.

If we’re constantly exposed to the same experience in life, the way we flow into the experience will most likely not change. For example, I kept feeling ‘negative’ emotions where I was feeling very low but internally I felt as though these emotions were ‘wrong’ and I shouldn’t be feeling this. Without a healthy route for me to release these emotions, they were bottled up and after being exposed to the moment we shall call in this case, the ‘tipping point’, the emotions exploded out of me. I didn’t like the feeling of vulnerability and pushed these feelings onto those around me. All I was left with was hatred for myself and confusion. The same thoughts popped up, “why is it always me?”

“I hate myself and my life will never be good”

“Why can’t I get things right?”

I realised I was not listening to myself and was not allowing my emotions to be expressed in a healthy manner, so it started to affect the relationships I have with those I love.

All you need to do is watch. Just watch. If you’re going on a tangent and after watching it, it seems ridiculous, you’ll most likely find it humorous that your mind is thinking the way it is. If you don’t and you can see it getting worse and you’re feeling that pit in your stomach which flows up to your head and makes the thoughts explode with emotion, you know you need to take action immediately. The feeling isn’t ‘going to get better’ eventually. Take your time to get a handle on the origin of these thoughts and emotions but if you just drop it without resolution because its unbearable, its like adding fuel to the fire for the next time it happens.

Unfortunately, there will always be a next time as we live in a world of duality. Nothing is permanent and this goes for thoughts and emotions especially. Remember they flash through you as quickly as lightning. It’s up to you on how long you hold on to them.

I hope to share more of my insights as I delve further into the human consciousness but always remember there is no truth I can tell you. My truth has been filtered through innate traits, upbringing, geological cultural differences, life events, knowledge from spiritual leaders and shit load more variables.

For now, thank you for being here and reading these words. Sending peace and love through the 4th dimension.

From One Human

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